What moves me to offer Expat Coaching with Your Expat Journey?
I was an expat myself – and I loved it.
But there were those moments – of doubt, of loneliness, feeling helpless and alien in this new country that I moved to. We moved several times with a growing family. A life on the move that was certainly brillant, but also demanding.
Culture shock is a common phenomenon when starting to live in a new culture, a new environment. But the shock we experience when moving abroad is more severe. People you meet abroad on a daily basis are somewhat different, they have routines that surprise you. They behave in ways to which you cannot relate well at first.
This shock inside: suddenly everything feels new and you need to adapt – there is not way around it
Imagine being a child in a new neighbourhood. You have no friends yet. Mom and dad are around and your siblings as well. But they all feel somewhat uprooted – just like you – and are looking for orientation. Your mom and dad try to provide safety and a home to you.
But they might be struggling at first. And you certainly feel that something is not yet in balance. When you move abroad your children might be affected by this.
As an adult, you are used to solve every situation by yourself. As an Expat, you assume that it is your responsibility to find ways to create a safe home from which you can explore your new environment. And it is your responsibility. Nevertheless, everything will be easier, if you look for support. And who can help better than those who have been there before?!
What to do, if this feeling of missing safety remains very present?
Feeling safe is one of the strongest emotions. Our safety is a very important base to manage our life with confidence. Feeling uprooted and uncertain will make it more difficult to get active. In your new environment you might want to hide at home rather then explore. But the new house or flat is not even home yet. And only if you explore your new surroundings, you will find friends. Sounds like you are trapped.
And yet, you are definitely curious as well. So that is a good thing. Being curious means you want to venture outside and start your new life for real!
Whether it was your own decision to move to this country or not, you will handle it. You want to make the most of it. You take the first steps and discover what this new place and this new life have to offer.
Moving abroad means experiencing ups and downs and life seems to move in waves
Those waves and mood swings are quite familiar to me. Moving to Shanghai with our three kids was something I wanted. Living abroad again looked very promissing to me. Nevertheless, once our family arrive in Shanghai, it was a shock I will not forget! That evening in our serviced apartment, me and our children looked out of the windows, down on those loud, noisy and foreign city streets and we all cried.
My husband asked himself, if we did the right thing to move again. Yes, it was the right thing. But it needed strength and courage and perseverence to adapt and truly enjoy our time there. I took the first steps outside with a feeling of fragility, at the same time knowing that I would have to provide the feeling to be safe to our children.
That was pure stress. The stress dissolved quickly once we connected with the first people. The German School provided that much needed place feeling like home. From there on all was easier and exploring the city started to become fun!
Feeling safe is necessary to strengthen your confidence. Once you are confident, you are happy to explore
Life is a journey and moving abroad is a bigger step on the map than moving to another city in your home country. But actually, much is similar. We have been on our journey all our life and we have grown our personality. We bring skills and resources with us. And we bring our inner self, wherever we go.
So, it is the same old us that moved abroad. It is time to take a deep breath and reflect on that now. To appreciate all the tools we have in our hands to explore with confidence.
Living abroad might challenge your inner self. It provides opportunities for change and for growth. And it will definitely change who you are forever. The more you act with confidence and the more you trust your capabilities, the more you will thrive and grow.
Moving and living abroad is different from the way of life that most people live
But there are many people in this world who have done this before. Like me.
It helps us along our own journey to trust in people and ask for information and advice. When learning about other expat’s stories, ideas or challenges, these journeys will resonate with you. They provide an impulse for you to find your own footing.
The charming opportunity with Your Expat Journey is that so much is new
You might find your hidden dreams, which have been burried by routine and expectations from family and society. Once you dig up that treasure chest of hidden dreams, you will have the chance to try out many new things and discover some gems.
Opportunities might range from picking up a new sports acitivity to volunteering for a good cause to starting a creative project or learning a new language. Many expats actually become entrepreneurs and build up a thriving business!
New dreams might arise, a new vision of you and your future life
So much is possible. That is, what Your Expat Journey and life abroad have to offer. Especially when arriving as the “trailing” spouse, “trailing” will soon not be the correct term to describe “what you do”. Discovering a whole new range of ways to get active has been life changing for many expat women and it can be for you!
I did not realize this when I first moved to Hongkong. Unconciously, I was following my teenage dreams. I always had wanted to explore the world and to live in a foreign country. While I was following my boyfriend (now husband) to that faraway place on a continent that I never had traveled before, I knew it would be challenging. I was not afraid, just curious.
What I did not know was that it would change my vision of life
The moment I realized that, I was hooked. “Once an expat, always an expat” is what they say.
That is why I love to coach expats. I encourage people who are looking for a new path in life to take the first steps and create their own vision.
I will always resonate with any journey and try to dig up with you the gems hidden inside yourself.
Not easy, but rewarding
I know from experience, this might not be easy, but it will be rewarding.
- Working abroad can be stressful at times
- Culture clashes can be demanding or alienating
- Children might face big challenges in transitions, in school, with peers
- Harmony in the family might be threatened
- Marriages can become rocky, when one loves it abroad and the other does not
It helps to act upon any upcoming problems as soon as possible and to ask for support.
Once the road gets rocky, start to ask for support. Ask friends, your social network, talk a lot with your partner and with your children. Or get a coaching or when necessary, therapy. Nobody needs to fight challenges alone.
You need not be alone on Your Expat Journey
There are local networks and online groups, and many people will happily share their experiences and give advice, a helping hand or provide a hug when you need it!
In my blog I will address what I believe is relevant for the Expat Journey – big topics, small topics
Please get in touch for any topics that you want to read about. And you can always reach out to me when you need a personal talk. You are not alone, wherever you are.
A Chinese friend recently said to me “We vibe together”!
Let’s just do that and vibe together in this world with confidence and courage!
I hope we will connect soon,
Uschi
